How the Movie Everything Everywhere All at Once Has Changed the Way I Feel for Moving Out for College

“Every rejection, every disappointment has led you here to this moment. Don’t let anything distract you from it.”

This afternoon, after I spent the day thinking about my GPA score that half people in my class might did better, I decided to watch the A24’s visionary masterpiece, Everything Everywhere All at Once.

I am stunned with how this movie crafted the metaphor of chaosness in life into such an inevitable part of life that matter for the sake of rotation in living.

Everything that happened in my 18 years of living, I’ve seen it as a matter of being and existence, including when I had to move out for college.

I never liked the word “moving out” and its meaning. I didn’t like the concept of having to adjust and adapt ourselves into whatever we have to face for relocating our surroundings. I always loved the comfortableness in constant stability I’ve had in life.

I wished I’d stopped myself for moving out for college. I’d probably won’t have the hard time to socialize. I’d probably won’t feel I don’t belong anywhere. I’d probably won’t have an average grade even when I find myself enjoy studying.

But really, believe me when I say my dealing with culture shock has gone ever since i watched this movie.

“You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed, you’re living your worst you.”

Each one of us probably has one point in life that leads us to questioning our full existential, unable to find place in this tiny world, that deem life feels pointless with this trajectory.

But really, it will all makes sense because all of your everything is matter.

“Every new discovery is just a reminder, that we are all small and stupid.”

You can do everything you want with your littleness in the enormity of universe.

Why do we love but at the same time we hurt?

Why am I failing?

How is life meant to be lived?

Even if things don’t go well, even if we feel the enormity to break the pain in miserable of everything, everywhere, all at once, you will always find a reason to pull you through.

And one of my reason that has been pulling me through is my Mom.

My mom wasn’t the type of parent that understand how hard it can be for a kid to fulfill their validations. But it all changed when I began my moving out life. It might sounds sad that it took me 593.2 km away just to have my relationship with my Mom (in this term) better, but I’ve never regretted it, not even once.

Something beautiful will always be hidden through your struggles. But eventually, they’ll come out. Every stage in your life will get bound, and they are matter for your life rotation.

We both now have shared the love we really deserved all this time.

Now I feel comfortable in the uncomfortableness of constant changing in life.